Scratched Out
by cherryXbomb
Summary: Tracy Freeland is in college and still affected by seventh grade. [Thirteen Song Fic]


**Title: **Scratched Out

**Author: **cherryXbomb

**Rating: **T+

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the movie Thirteen… in any way. I have to rent it whenever I want to see it. With that, don't sue… I'm pouty enough as it is. Oh yeah, the lyrics belong to The Matches… I do own the CD just not the lyrics.

**Author's Note: **I noticed that there were no Thirteen based fan fictions and decided to write one. It probably sucks.

**Summary: **She wanted to rip up that poster. It reminded her of Evie. It reminded her of Javi. It reminded her of failing seventh grade.

She had nicotine basted lungs 

_Wasted thumbs_

_And one of them asphalt tastin' tongues_

_She wakes up to alarm_

_Her make-up is still on_

_And she can't remember why she set the damn thing_

_Her heart is a machine_

_Art is meant to be seen_

_Not felt_

_Not heard_

_It's just paint_

_They're just words_

_And feelings are for feeling_

_Fists are for beating_

_Scabs are for healing _

_And blood is for bleeding_

_-The Matches "Scratched Out"_

She hadn't seen Evie in six years. She hadn't seen Javi in four years. But they were always there, present in her thoughts. She wondered if Evie was still screwed up. She wondered if Javi still thought of her. She had never regretted anything. Her therapist said everything was important in becoming who she was. But the thing was, Tracy didn't know who she was.

It took her years to convince her mom to stop checking her arms for cuts. They were never any there. After the day her mom discovered them, Tracy stuck to cutting her legs. It had taken longer for Mason to stop watching her. He never stopped. Not even in college, though they were on opposite sides of the country. It was like that poster on Melrose, always there watching her every movement. All through high school, she saw those haunting eyes. It didn't help that she had a smaller replication of them in her bedroom.

The eyes always reminded her of Evie. She could never discover why. It always creeped her out. But it didn't stop her from taking the eyes to college with her.

She knew she scared her roommate. She could tell by the way Elex looked at her. It was the same look she got from her mom and Brady and Mason and her entire school since seventh grade. This affected her more than she'd ever admit. The thought that someone could see the girl that Tracy had so carefully hidden scared her. That's why one morning, when Elex looked at her with those terrified doe eyes, Tracy snapped. "What the fuck are you looking at?"

Elex blinked. "You slept in your make-up… again," she noted carefully.

"It was a long night," Tracy snapped.

"Of partying?"

Tracy glared at Elex. Fire burned behind her retinas. Anger burned inside, the flames licking the girl Tracy had tried to suppress, awakening her. "You don't even know me! Don't fucking assume that a long night means a party."

"But it does," Elex stated simply.

"It wasn't a long night because of a party."

It was a long night because the real Tracy emerged for a moment. The beast had broken free from its chain when a meaningless hook-up noticed the scabs decorating her legs. It was a long night because she cried herself to sleep. They were the first tears she'd shed since she was fifteen and her father died. She could still feel the tears on her cheeks, burning her skin like acid. It was a long night because her demons pulled her back to hell.

"Then why was it?" Elex demanded. "Why were you crying at three in the morning?"

"Mind your own business," Tracy snapped.

"You say I don't know you. Poor pitiful Tracy. You're just like me, only you can't hide it," Elex taunted in a voice that reminded Tracy so much of Evie. "You're tortured and you feel like no one gets you."

"Fuck you."

"Just admit it Trace. Why else would your brother call every night. It's because you have issues with a capital I."

"Leave me alone," Tracy yelled.

"The blood on your pajama pants; the pills, anti-depressants. You are so screwed up," Elex shouted.

"Leave me alone," Tracy whispered hoarsely, looking more at the poster of the haunting eyes than at Elex. Suddenly she wanted to destroy the eyes. She wanted to rip up that poster. It reminded her of Evie. It reminded her of Javi. It reminded her of failing seventh grade. It reminded her of everything: the rage, the hatred, the sex, the drugs, everything. She felt the tears burning in her eyes as she looked at the haunting brown eyes on the paper and the big eyes of Elex.

"Tell me what happened," Elex said suddenly in a soft voice. "It's okay."

Tracy shook her head and ripped down the poster. Each shred represented her past. The rips were like the tears she longed to cry. Finally they poured out. Elex hugged her and the story tumbled from Tracy's lips.

**A/N:** This really ended up in a different place than I intended but I think it's still okay to post. LOL. I apologize for all the "fucks" but if you've watched the movie, every other word in it is that word. As always, read and review… flames are so welcome.


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